Before I Change My Mind (2022)
Before I Change My Mind is a poignant and thought-provoking coming-of-age drama that explores themes of identity, self-discovery, and the complexities of gender and relationships. Set in the early 2000s, the film takes a deep dive into the life of a young person caught between the worlds of adolescence and adulthood, as they grapple with their evolving sense of self amidst the pressures of society, family, and friendship. With a powerful central performance and a heartfelt narrative, the film captivates audiences with its raw emotional depth and its sensitive portrayal of the LGBTQ+ experience.
Plot Summary: The story revolves around a teenager named Sam (played by an outstanding lead actor), who has always struggled to fit in. Growing up in a small suburban town, Sam feels trapped in a world where expectations about gender and sexuality are rigid and unyielding. On the outside, they appear to live a typical teenage life—focusing on school, friendships, and the challenges of growing up—but internally, Sam is beginning to question who they truly are.
When Sam’s best friend, Alex, unexpectedly comes out as gay, Sam finds themselves at a crossroads. The revelation sparks a series of introspective moments, forcing Sam to confront their own identity and begin to untangle the complicated feelings they’ve had for years. As Sam embarks on a journey of self-exploration, they experience the highs and lows of discovering their true self, including the difficulties of navigating romantic feelings, the fear of judgment from their conservative family, and the uncertainties that come with growing up.
The film focuses on Sam’s evolving relationships with those around them—Alex, their parents, and their own inner circle. As Sam navigates the complex terrain of love, friendship, and personal transformation, the title Before I Change My Mind reflects the idea that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The film is about embracing who you are in the moment, even when the future seems uncertain.
Artistic Analysis: Before I Change My Mind is visually arresting, with a color palette that blends the muted tones of suburban life with bursts of vibrant hues that represent Sam’s inner world and their journey toward self-acceptance. The cinematography is intimate and immersive, using close-ups to capture the quiet moments of emotional reflection, while also sweeping out to show the larger, often isolating world Sam inhabits. The film’s use of visual metaphors—like mirrors and reflective surfaces—reinforces the theme of self-discovery, with Sam constantly reflecting on who they are and who they are becoming.
The pacing of the film is deliberate, allowing the audience to sit with Sam’s emotions and experiences. The slow-burn narrative encourages viewers to invest in Sam’s growth, making the moments of realization and change feel earned and impactful. There is a sensitivity to the storytelling that doesn’t rush the exploration of identity, but rather allows it to unfold naturally, creating a rich emotional experience.
The soundtrack, composed of songs from the early 2000s, adds to the film’s nostalgic atmosphere, helping to situate the story within the time period while also enhancing the emotional moments. The music isn’t just a backdrop but serves as a character in itself, with the songs reflecting Sam’s emotional state and the era they are growing up in.
Performances: The performances in Before I Change My Mind are one of its strongest suits. The lead actor, portraying Sam, delivers a mesmerizing performance that perfectly captures the turbulence of adolescence and the quiet strength of someone discovering their true identity. The vulnerability in Sam’s character is palpable, with the actor bringing a depth of emotion that makes every moment of self-realization feel profound. The internal conflict Sam faces, torn between societal expectations and personal truth, is beautifully conveyed through both the performance and the writing.
Supporting characters, including Alex and Sam’s family members, add layers of complexity to the narrative. Alex, as the best friend, offers both a sounding board and a foil for Sam’s journey, while the parents’ reactions to Sam’s changing sense of self bring a grounded perspective on the pressures and fears that often accompany coming out. The relationships are nuanced, showing not just the love and support Sam receives, but also the difficulties and misunderstandings that arise as they navigate their path.
Emotion: The emotional heart of Before I Change My Mind lies in its authentic portrayal of the challenges that come with self-discovery. Sam’s journey is both universal and deeply personal, and the film explores the highs and lows of growing up in a world that may not always accept you for who you are. The tension between wanting to conform and the pull to be true to oneself is a central theme, making the film’s emotional moments feel both relatable and deeply moving.
The relationships in the film—especially the one between Sam and Alex—are raw and heartfelt. As they navigate their own journeys of self-discovery, their friendship serves as a reminder of the importance of support and understanding during times of change. The family dynamics are equally emotional, with Sam’s relationship with their parents reflecting the difficulties many face when coming out, and the film never shies away from the painful aspects of this struggle.
Final Thoughts: Before I Change My Mind is an insightful, moving, and beautifully crafted film that delves deep into the complexities of identity, love, and the journey toward self-acceptance. With a stellar performance from the lead actor, a sensitive script, and a visual style that perfectly complements its themes, the film succeeds in capturing the emotional depth of coming-of-age stories. It’s not just a film about being LGBTQ+, but a universal story about the struggle to be oneself in a world that often makes it difficult.
This movie will resonate with anyone who has ever felt out of place, and it offers a hopeful message: even when you’re unsure of who you are, the journey itself is worth every step. Before I Change My Mind is a poignant reminder that discovering who you are is a beautiful and sometimes painful process, and it’s a journey worth embracing.
